Work has been so crazy and an absolute shit show. If the company’s goal is to turn everyone’s hair gray, cause stress related health issues and piss everyone off they are on the road to excellence. But I’m sure I’m not alone in that feeling so I shall move along.
As I was leaving the building Friday evening and chucking up the deuces minus one I told myself that I wasn’t gonna do jack squat this weekend. I was going to go home, hide under the covers and sleep. The only time I allotted myself to be out of my bed was when I was going to be applying my face mask, because another great side effect of work is the pimple insurgence. Well friends it’s Sunday and like the rest of y’all I’m wondering where my weekend went and how come Saturday comes and goes yet Monday comes and stay. The closest I got to my goal of weekend nothingness was getting a nap in on Saturday. Why is it so hard to obtain me time? Mr. Grumps tried his damnedest to help me achieve said goals and aspirations of slackerdom but it just didn’t work out. He tried to tend to all of Cakes few needs and MANY MANY MANY wants but it just didn’t work out that way. Especially when she’s so polarizing with her requests. “Mommy mommy mommy” Daddy appears. “I want mommy” well mommy is taking a nap. Silence as if to say I’ll wait or even better when she crawls into my nap space and lays on me. Not next to me in a cuddly manner but on me as in head on my face blocking my ability to breathe or her big ass heavy head on my belly, forcing me to wake up. Bless his heart he tried.
I’m starting to believe that it’s just not possible to take me time while in the presence of a little one. They cannot let it be and they will do everything in their little powers to stop it from happening. I actually found myself getting jealous of and coveting her energy. How and why the hell do they have so much energy I thought as I literally watched her run from the back of the apartment to the front and “cannonball” head first into the couch. Repeatedly. No breaks. No gasps of air. She. Just. Kept. Going. And Going. And Going. Just how? HOW! (In my very best Kanye voice).
I used to wonder why some mothers spent their Mother’s Day somewhere without their kids or when I’d ask my sissy what she had planned for Mother’s Day and she would say she planned to be in her damn bed uninterrupted. Don’t you wanna spend the day with your kids? Afterall they are the reason you have this day. Right? Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! So gotdamn wrong I was. I not only know why but fully intend to join the club. I now know they take the day in an attempt to regain 364 days worth of sanity, 364 days worth of sleep, 364 days of normal energy so that the next day they can go back and do it all over again with the fond memory of that one day they didn’t have to do shit. And gotdamnit you can count me in!
Me time will be accomplished next weekend when I run away from home and will probably spend the day calling my baby to check on her because I miss her so very much. Don’t judge me!
Is it too early for a cocktail!?