I thought I was pretty lucky that I didn’t really experience the terrible 2’s or threenager with Cakes but man am I making up for it now. I didn’t really know it had a name until I was reading up on some of my favorite blogs and saw that there is indeed a name for what we are going through with our sweet sweet 4 year old Cakes. FOURNADO! Go ahead grab a cocktail, you’re gonna need it!
The Fournados consist of:
- More “why’s” than any person is equipped to answer. This girl why’s us into circles. Mommy/Daddy why are my shoes blue? Because they only came in blue. Why did they only make blue? Because blue is their favorite color. Why is blue their favorite color? I don’t know Cakes, why is yellow your favorite color. Uh because it’s my favorite color. Exactly Cakes. But why? *which is usually followed by us looking to the other for help* We’ve learned to use the art of distraction or reverse why’s to deal with the endless slew of why’s. What’s a reverse why? When you’ve run out of creative answers and so you ask them why instead. She usually gets annoyed and changes the subject or walks out. Win for the parents!
- Expansive/Expressive vocabulary. Sometimes I forget that I’m speaking to a four year old. It seems as though it started almost exactly on her 4th birthday when she started thanking us for her birthday “decorations” , telling us which friend has “annoyed” her at school and so she uses her “imagination” and plays alone or the best when she started closing the door while going potty because she needs “privacy please”. Most times we’re stunned and look at each other in disbelief at how she knows how to use her big words in the correct context with the appropriate expressions and emphasis. I love every minute of it, it confirms that our baby is a genius (lol).
- Teenage Angst. This one is a killer. It’s like all of a sudden Cakes feels deeply and quickly. She cries because she loves us then turns around and has the biggest belly laugh at something on tv. Before we can even prepare to deal with one emotion she’s on to the next. We haven’t really figured out what to do with this yet so we kind of just let her go through it and offer a hug, for now that does the trick.
- Combativeness. I don’t know if it can really be accredited to fournado or if she just gets in honest from her daddy but sometimes if you let her you’ll get sucked into major back and forth with this little lady and again you forget she’s only 4. “Wrong and Strong” is a word constantly used to describe Cakes. She’ll be dead wrong and argue you down anyway. Maybe it’s the makings of a future lawyer but most of the time we just tap out because she will wear you down.
Trying at times absolutely but I must say it is a pleasure seeing Cakes’ growing into such a little character. Although if I’m being completely honest more often than not I just grab my flask and hide in the bathroom for a long as I can before she comes barging in. Judge if you must!
What are some other Fournado traits you’ve dealt with/are dealing with and how do you cope.
A little over a week ago I was going through my camera roll on my phone and noticed that Cakes had taken pictures. Some pictures were of me, a couple of my butt when I was bending over to get something from the fridge, a few of Mr.Grumps, being grumpy and then there was one picture of some woman that I didn’t recognize right away. As I stared at the picture with my eyes narrowed trying to figure out who it was I realized, the woman was ME! I didn’t even recognize my own physical self. I had no idea that I looked like that. How long have I looked this way? Is that what people see when they see me? These were all the thoughts clouding my brain as I dramatically spiraled out of control. I’m talking full on dramatics here. Sliding off the couch onto the floor then crying in my hands as I sat criss cross apple sauce. I then realized that life was happening to me and I was too busy taking care of everything else to even notice.
I can’t quite tell you when my sneaker to shoe ratio got out of wack and just turned into my sneaker collection. As I do not know how my wardrobe has become overrun with “stretchy things” and not the body con dress type stretchy things. Or when my fun colored lippies turned into chapstick and go. Or how the bags I carried on my arms relocated to under my eyes. Who knows when all the gray hairs voted my brown hairs off the island and took residence front and center on my head. By the way the browns are straight punks they didn’t even put up a damn fight. Or when my bi-weekly wash and sets turned into f*ck it dirty bun liiiiiife, I have no idea when or how I gained all this weight, hell I don’t even know when’s the last time I took a good look in a mirror to even notice. It was like I got bitchslapped followed by a cup of ice cold water thrown in my face. I’M AWAKE!
In my head pops all these cliches and memes and inspirational quotes that I come across and mmmhmmm (like I be knowing when obviously I had no clue)
(yeah you’ve seen these too) the cup and the pouring one got to me the most.
I moped about it for
a couple days more like a week and then I just decided I have to just do it. As automatic and effortlessly as I take care of Cakes and home and work and everything else, is as automatic and effortless as it should be for me to take care of me. Hell nobody else is going to, that’s evident. Shit nobody even told me, wait maybe 2 different people giving me 2 different gift cards to 2 different spas was my cue that I totally missed. Oh my goodness did I really miss that? Welp, that just went clear over my head now didn’t it! It appears I really was asleep. I know this sounds easy enough and you’re probably reading this like I’m crazy but this is really hard. You get into a routine in life, it works and you kinda just go with flow. The thing is that seeing that picture was like a wake up call that hey it isn’t really working time to try something else. Now is the hard and uncomfortable part which is I literally have to demand from myself time for myself. I think I may have to try the Being Mary Jane method for awhile and write things on post its and put them around the house as a reminder to remember me until remembering me is a habit. Aren’t I just as important as the people and things that I think are important. Hell yeah! So now it’s time to act accordingly. How fitting is it that it’s a couple of days before my birthday and I get to put into practice and get to work so that my 30 somethingth year can be better to me than my 30 somethingth year.
Have you ever experienced a time when you lost sight of yourself? Or forgot to take care of yourself or put yourself on the shelf? And what did you do to get back?
I’m not even kidding when I tell you this is my first complete and total epic fail. Not because it wasn’t tasty or it looked a mess but because this recipe was so freaking annoying you have no idea. I’m so annoyed that I can’t even go through the steps with you I am completely done with this recipe. Seriously!
Okay so here is the tasty version of the recipe:
And here are the reasons why I hate (I’m aware that hate is a strong word and if I could find a stronger word to express the extent of dislike I feel for these damn lasagna poppers I’d insert it here gotdamnit).
- It took me close to 3 damn hours to make this mess.
- You basically have to freeze them after every single step which I’m sure ain’t nobody got time for.
- Between the meat, sauce, cheese mixture falling out of the lasagna noodles, the flour, egg wash, bread crumbs, egg wash, bread crumb again and the freezing process my kitchen and hands were messy as heck which offset my OCD and literally gave me a mild anxiety attack.
- I was looking forward to them tasting like bite sized version of my lasagna (which I make a mean pan of) but it just tasted like super breaded and fried noodles. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy a good fried noodle but not when I’m expecting yummy, tasty, gooey lasagna.
- Mr. Grumps agrees these damn things aren’t worth all the fuss it took to make them.
- And last but not least the reason why I hate this recipe is because after all the mess, trouble and time it took to make these things….Cakes loved them and has asked me to make them AT LEAST four times. Ugh!
On a scale of 1-5 I give this recipe a “don’t do it Miss Celie”. Here is what mine looked like, I warn don’t be fooled by presentation these things are the devil.
Just when we all thought summer was here the weather started getting tricky again. Cakes had on a cute light jacket in mint that matched her sneakers but opted to disrobe when it was picture taking time.
Top: Gap Kids
Cropped Jeans: True Religion
Sneakers: Old Navy